FateStay Love(craft)
by CrawlingChaos
Summary: Shirou summons a certain overly eager Nyarlathotepian. Sanity was already pretty scarcely meted out in Fuyuki, this won't help.
1. Lovecraft Lite, Thank God

Fate/Stay Love(craft)

Chapter 1 – Thank Azathoth this is Lovecraft (Extremely) Lite.

Shirou was having a less than stellar day. It started out alright, he spent some time fixing air conditioners for Issei and he was happy to help with the maintenance for the archery club, but it got worse rather dramatically quickly after he walked onto that fight. Shirou still wasn't sure how he had survived his run in with the guy in blue, especially considering he was pretty sure he had been pierced through the heart by his weapon. Currently though he was being kicked into his shed by said blue donned guy. Groaning as he got up Shirou scrambled to look for a weapon, anything that could hold off his inhumanly powerful foe, none could be found. Shirou's heart fell and he almost gave way to despair as the man approached him preparing to skewer Shirou.

"Nice try kid. It's too bad this had to happen."

Just as the man started to thrust his weapon a blinding flash occurred. As the light died down Shirou realized he wasn't dead and in fact the blow had been blocked by what appeared to be a crowbar.

A cheerful voice could be heard calling out. "Saber has arrived to save the day!" Both Shirou and his would be double murderer looked with a certain amount of disbelief at the girl that had saved Shirou's life.

"Tch, so you're a master. Well at least I'll get a good fight." The azure warrior jumped back into the yard.

"Leave this to me master!" Saber said to Shirou who was momentarily stunned by how quickly the situation changed, before she followed the man into the yard.

Around now should be as good a time as any to describe Shirou's saviour. She appeared to be a girl around Shirou's age with long silver hair and a very animate ahoge. Her clothing was rather fashionable and had an interesting monochrome flair to them. She had a bright air to her, and was overall an attractive person. Her cheerful smile was slightly off putting though considering the fierce battle that was going on. Anyway mandatory description time finished, the narrative resumed, and the battle between the two really started as Shirou desperately called out for an explanation. Unfortunately for him he wasn't going to get one any time soon.

Sparks were flying as crowbar and spear collided. Lancer was fast and strong, and Saber, well she just kept calling out ridiculous attack names. Space C.Q.C this and that.

"Who uses a weapon like that?!" The guy who still hasn't been formally introduced as Lancer cried out with growing and honestly rather understandable exasperation.

"Only the best protagonists!" Came the overly enthused reply from Saber.

"Okay, this is ending now!"

At this point one can't really blame Lancer for bringing out his Noble Phantasms ridiculously powerful and unfair ability. Saber could be really annoying at times. Lancer pointed his spear at the ground in front of him in an odd stance and began releasing copious amounts of killing intent. Shirou recognizing this as the technique he had inadvertently interrupted earlier this evening called out to Saber trying to warn her about whatever it was Lancer was about to do.

"Gae-"

"Saber watch-"

"Bolg!"

Gae Bolg is a noble phantasm that reverses causality to ensure that it pierces the heart of its victim. Where normally the series of events one might expect would be as follows, the spear was thrust then the heart was pierced Gae Bolg reverses the order of events making it as so, the heart was pierced so the spear must have been thrust. The only safety to be had from it would be the protection of gods, ridiculous amounts of luck or I don't know, maybe the ability to transform into numerous different forms each more horrible than the last. Fortunately for everyone involved Saber had excessive levels of luck, and as a result Lancer's thrust missed her completely.

"Out?" Shirou's warning died off a little at how underwhelming the actual attack had been.

Lancer just sort of stared at his weapon, then at Saber, and back to his spear. Not having really expected that outcome. "Chh, seems I have to retreat for now." He stated as he fled.

Saber seemed to understand. "Ah, so he's a reoccurring character." She then turned to Shirou. "Wasn't I great master?"

Poor Shirou was hopelessly confused by now and jumped at the chance presented by someone actually talking to him for once to ask some questions.

"Who are you? Who was that? Why do you keep calling me master? What's going on?"

Saber unhelpfully focused on one of those questions and gave Shirou the thoroughly unsatisfying response of "Ah! If you'd prefer I could call you Onii-chan or Nii-san or-!" This went on for a short while and Shirou sort of tuned most of it out due to despair. That and trying to figure out what her facial expression was conveying. It was pretty weird. She interrupted his musings to inform him that another servant (whatever that was) was approaching. She then gleefully threw herself over the wall surrounding the property.

Shirou was left to scramble after her, through the entrance way not over the wall hoping nothing would go badly. He should have known better by now. As he caught up he saw Saber rushing at the crimson swordsman from earlier this evening and wait, was that Tohsaka? He had to prevent a fight, someone could get hurt!

"Saber stop!" As he yelled Shirou noted that a before unnoticed symbol on the back of his hand was glowing. A lot of things seemed to be doing that tonight. Anyway it seemed that Saber had finally decided to listen to Shirou for once as she suddenly halted.

"Nii-san why'd you stop me? This was going to be great!" Saber complained, although she seemed to still be in good spirits. Shirou twitched. Tohsaka it should be noted was doing a fair bit of twitching herself as well. Archer was looking at Saber oddly and muttering to himself.

"Strange-different-"

"Thank you Emiya-san." If Shirou hadn't known better he would have said that the smile on Tohsaka's face was forced.

"Tohsaka-san? What's going on?" Glad that he had met someone reasonable Shirou once again expressed his ignorance of the situation. He wasn't really expecting to learn what had been happening but he was a pretty stubborn guy at times. Tohsaka twitched again. Luckily for Shirou she was someone who would explain things to him and as such they made their way into Shirou's less than unscathed home. To Shirou's amazement he learned that Tohsaka knew magic that could be clean up messes. He wished he was able use magic like that, it would make Fuji-nee a lot more tolerable.

After getting some tea for everyone Shirou and the rest sat down to talk about the situation at hand. Saber was perhaps slightly closer to Shirou than he felt comfortable with.

"Emiya-san, it seems that you've been selected as a master for the Holy Grail war, a battle between seven magi and their summoned servants. Servants are Heroes from the past summoned into one of seven classes. Saber, Rider, Lancer, Berserker, Assassin, Caster, and Archer. My useless servant here is Archer. The one you ran into was Lancer. Yours is Saber right?

Saber replied for Shirou. "Yes! I'm Saber the chaos that crawls up to Shirou-san with a smile" Shirou choked on his tea, Tohsaka gave Saber a perplexed look, and Archer continued to look at her oddly.

"Right, once all of the other servants are defeated the winner can claim the Holy Grail which will give the master and servant a wish. The easiest way to defeat a servant is to target the master so you should stay with Saber all the time." If it was possible Saber seemed to get even happier after hearing that.

"Anyway we should go up to the church to meet the mediator and get you registered for the war, he can answer any other questions you have. Saber you should dematerialize."

"Haha, I can't do that!" Saber cheerfully expressed her inability to do something every servant should be able to do. Tohsaka wasn't quite sure what to make of it.

"Haa, Emiya-san, it seems you must have really messed up her summoning." Shirou didn't dignify that with an answer, also Tohsaka was kind of scary looking at the moment.

Fortunately Saber wasn't wear armor or anything because the only thing Shirou would have been able to cover her up with would have been a bright yellow raincoat. As it was though her outfit didn't scream hero from another era and she could walk the streets as is. The four of them then proceeded out into the night intent upon the Kotomine church.

* * *

Coming Up

"Rejoice Emiya Shirou for your wish shall be granted."

"Kill them Berserker!"

"No, absolutely not, you can sleep in another room." "But it's to protect you, guehehe."


	2. The Black Pharaoh Goes to Church

Fate/Stay Love (craft) 

Chapter 2 – The Black Pharaoh Goes to Church 

The church was less inviting than one might expect of a house of God. It gave off an almost palpable feeling of unease. Shirou was starting to understand why Tohsaka had been complaining about the place the whole walk over, if it wasn't necessary he would want nothing to do with the building.

"This place is great!" Perhaps somewhat predictably Saber's views differed wildly on the matter. "Come on let's go in!" She grabbed Shirou's arm and started dragging him inside.

"W-what?" Shirou let his surprise at the sudden contact be known. For some reason he thought he felt twin daggers glare into his back from Tohsaka's direction, yet foolishly he dismissed his concern.

* * *

Entering into the building did nothing to make one feel more at ease, Shirou wondered what kind of congregation could be drawn to such a place every week. In front of the group stood a priest, no doubt he had heard Saber's boisterousness and was waiting for them. A thin smile was on his face.

"Ah, Rin it seems you've brought guests, no doubt the seventh master and his-" the priest stopped momentarily as he laid eyes on Saber. His face flashed to a grimace before returning to normal so quickly as to make observers doubtful that the shift had happened at all. "-servant, how kind of you to go out of your way to bring him here."

"I-it's nothing I was just repaying a debt." Tohsaka blushed slightly as she gave her typical response when called out on being nice.

"It's not nothing Tohsaka-san, I really appreciate it." Shirou said unknowingly supported the priest in teasing the girl.

"Guh, you fake priest. Just explain the situation to him, he's completely ignorant." After taking a critical strike Tohsaka decided to just ignore the provocation.

"You see Rin here is what's known as a tsun-"

"About the war!"

"-dere, a creature that cannot express affection to others save through insults. Now about the Holy Grail war. I am Kotomine Kirei the administrator of this conflict, allow me to fill you in on the nature of the event you have become a participant of."

What followed was a long explanation of the rules of the war filled with subtle jabs, philosophical musings, and of course foreshadowing.

"This war is horrible. How could anyone fight in this?" Shirou was outraged by the situation.

"Hmm? The prize is the realization of your greatest desire, have you nothing that you wish for?" Kotomine pressed Shirou with a question of his own.

Shirou's thoughts immediately jumped to his one and only real desire. His goal of becoming a hero, someone who saves others. Could it be that with the grail he could…? No, he realized, for his desire to be granted in such a way would be meaningless. It would in fact defeat the very purpose of it.

"No, a wish is worthless to me. This isn't the way to accomplish my goal." Shirou replied after some time.

"Is that so? Perhaps you would like to use up your remaining command seals and enter the protection of the church. That way you can refrain from participating." Kotomine's smile momentarily turned into something more honest and yet all the more unsettling.

"That's an option? Yes that sounds like a" Shirou was cut off as for the first time in the conversation Saber looked up from the apparent bliss of the death glomp she had on her master's arm.

"No! We have to fight together! Shirou, don't give up!" Shirou was shocked, when did she become so intimate with him as to address him using his given name without a suffix? The sudden shift in mindset made something clear to him though, he had no choice but to fight in this war.

"Saber's right, I have to fight. If only to make sure no one gets hurt. Beyond that Saber has a wish she wants granted too and she deserves that chance." He felt resolute, sure that the decision he had come too was the correct one.

"Master!" "Wha-!" Saber excitedly transitioned from her hold on Shirou's arm to what is known as marshmallow hell. An especially twisted sort of torture that takes something that would otherwise be pleasurable and perverts it by suffocating the recipient. The situation's horror was exacerbated because between Saber's cries of "Ah!" and "Shirou-kun! In a church?" was the sound of grinding teeth coming from the red clad magus.

Having finally freed himself the group made to leave the church. As they left Kotomine had a parting remark for them. "Rejoice Emiya Shirou for your wish shall be granted." Chilling implications to his final remark went right over Shirou's head as he was far too busy trying to calm down Saber and attempting to ferret out why Tohsaka seemed so irritated.

* * *

Fate/Zero Love (craft)

_From the journals of Emiya Kiritsugu._

I wish I had never gotten involved in The Holy Grail war. I should have taken Irisviel and Ilya and left the rest of the Einzberns to their machinations. Unfortunately that isn't how things turned out. If only I had drawn any other servant, I had wanted a Caster or even an Assassin, but I allowed that accursed family to talk me into summoning a Saber. That had been the moment that everything went wrong. I felt that I could work with a Saber, they were commonly held to be the best class for a reason, but she… it is impossible to deal with. I can feel my mind fray as I spend time with Saber, it's a miracle that I came up with the ploy of dropping Saber on Irisviel under the pretense of it being a tactical move to trick the opposing masters. I can only hope that beings influence on my wife remains isn't too bad, Ilya's already fallen to its corrupting nature. For the sake of the world I will carry this burden, if the universe truly isn't as callous as it now seems perhaps I won't break before my wish can be granted.


End file.
